She went to my freaking high school. That crazy woman went to my high school (hint, it's prestigious and very well known, and they love to gossip there.). She spoke to the priest on staff, and told him I'm disturbed with a drug problem and I'm trying to kill her. Literally. She went and did this. I knew I'd be rocking the boat when I began to search aggressively for housing and care for her, but I had no idea she'd actually do this.
If she goes near my office, I'm so dead. If they don't fire me, my reputation there will be ruined forever. If they do fire me, obviously I'll be out of a job with no insurance to cover the therapy I so obviously need.
Meanwhile, while my boyfriend is supportive via text and email, he's not exactly standing by my side right now. While I know it's a lot to ask...I don't know what I expect from him. Let's just say I feel more like a burden than a trusted companion.
Meanwhile, the therapists are coming this afternoon to speak with her again. I don't see that going well either. I have my first session tomorrow, and I can only hope it helps me cope.
I don't even feel like I'm truly alive right now.
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Hang in there.My family has a long history of mental illness and my young son is SZ. It is really difficult sometimes. But there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
ReplyDeleteYou are young. You are doing the right thing. It will iron out in the end.
OMG! I can absolutely relate! My Mother actually joined Facebook. She added my friends and coworkers and posted the most rediculous things, I can't even begin to explain how awful it is. I have blocked her, but many people are still her friend, I have no idea what she will post next. I am terrified for when she posts about her paranoia that me and my children or her neighbors that she believes are out to harm her. It is humiliating and makes me soo sick with worry. She refuses to take meds, and now she is on the social network with all that access to people I know and care about. uggggghhhhh... I just try not to think of it, but it is very difficult and I completely emphathize with you!
ReplyDeleteAs someone whose mother embarrassed her during all of her growing up years, I am pained to read this. But please know that this is about HER, it is not about YOU. The people in this world who matter well understand that. The people in this world who matter will have nothing but compassion for you.
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