Today was a rough day morning-wise. I really didn't want to get out of bed, but I know I can't put my job in jeopardy, so I just forced myself out and went to work.
I spoke with a therapist who agreed to meet with me tonight, and I spoke with the social workers who met with my mother. They agreed to bring a psychiatrist out next time to speak with her again, and they're becoming more open to having her hospitalized.
I know these are all steps toward a conclusion, but I just feel like everything is so hopeless for me right now. I don't see my life going anywhere but down. So many dark thoughts.
I decided not to renew my lease which will eventually make my mother homeless. This way I can get her into a facility where she can get the help she needs. There's no other way. I've decided to start preparing by getting rid of as much of my stuff as I possibly can. That way I'll be freer to move when the time comes.
I really hope this therapist can help me.
I want to talk about my boyfriend and how much I don't see this relationship progressing, but it makes me to sad.
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stay strong, girl. a therapist is a great way to start. the only way i could move on with my life was to cut my mother out of it -- you have to take care of YOU, and set boundaries for your mother.
ReplyDeletei'm here, if you need.